Gimli Talos Junior
by The Magical World of Sairina
Summary: The story of Gimli Talos Junior, the magical Alpaca baby, and lovechild of Gimli and Legolas. (Silly little story about random stuff, don't take this seriously)
1. The Alpaca-napper

Once upon a time, there was a teeny tiny magical alpaca baby. His name was Gimli Talos Junior. He was beautiful, his coat coloured like the rainbow, in stripes of pink, blue and yellow.

Gimli Talos Junior was very special, because he had two daddies, Legolas and Gimli. Legolas was an elvish prince, and Gimli a dwarven lord. When the two daddies fell in love, the teeny tiny alpaca baby was born out of their love. He came in into existence from a puff of magic.

The little alpaca was very different from his parents, but they still loved him for who he was.

But on one fateful day… Gimli Talos Junior got stolen. When his parents woke up in the morning, the little alpaca bed was empty! So they set out on a quest to find their lost son.

While the two daddies were crossing mountains and treacherous rivers, little Gimli Talos Junior was speaking his first words.

"TALOS THE MIGHTY!" he screeched from out of the canvas bag he was trapped in, "TALOS THE UNERRING! TALOS THE UNASSAILABLE! TO YOU WE GIVE PRAISE!"

The alpaca-napper sighed frustrated. He had almost reached his destination, but Gimli Talos Junior was putting his patience to the test.

"WE ARE BUT MAGGOTS, WRITHING IN THE FILTH OF OUR OWN CORRUPTION! WHILE YOU HAVE ASCENDED FROM THE DUNG OF MORTALITY, AND NOW WALK AMONG THE STARS!" the teeny tiny alpaca continued.

"Shut up!" the alpaca-napper hissed. Strangely enough, this voice sounded familiar….

After a day of searching, Gimli and Legolas had decided to stay in an inn for the night, to continue the searching the next day. They sat at a table, having a little to drink, but then, suddenly, Gimli bursted out in tears.

"Oh, where could my precious little Gimli Talos Junior bee-e-e-eeee?" he sobbed, as his husband tried to console him.

Then another voice spoke up.

"Talos, you said?" a guy at the bar said, "I know sumthin' 'bout a Talos."

"Really?" Gimli said between two sobs.

"Oh, don't listen to him," the bartender said, "He's always drunk."

Despite this warning, Gimli still wanted to hear what the drunk had to say. Maybe he had a clue or something…

"I was walkin' in the woods," the drunk said, "When I heard sumthin' strange. I heard someone shout 'bout a Talos. Something 'bout TALOS THE MIGHTY! TALOS THE UNERRING! TALOS THE UNASSAILABLE!"

"What, where?" Gimli said desperately.

"I can show you…" the drunk said, "but for a price…"

"I will do anything to see my son again!" Gimli said.

"I want five hundred septims!"

"But… I don't have that kind of money…"

Luckily for him, his spouse was a prince. Legolas wiggled with his eyebrows, and then, casually, shoved a bag full of coins to the drunk man.

"I'll show you tomorrow," the drunk man said as he picked the bag up, "Be here at… sunrise!"

Gimli and Legolas nodded, as they watched the man stagger outside. Or, at least, that was the plan. When he reached the door, the man flopped over in front of it. The bartender sighed, muttering a "Oh, not again…", and grabbed a broom. With this broom, he pushed the drunk out of the door, and slammed it shut.


	2. Magical Jelly Baby

The next morning, Gimli and Legolas woke up early, and ate some lembas bread while waiting for the drunk man to return to the inn.

He never did.

After having waited for hours, they got bored with waiting, and decided to look for their son by themselves. They quickly found the forest, and there they started looking for clues.

Meanwhile, little Gimli Talos Junior seemed to have reached his destination with his alpaca-napper. His captor flung the bag on the floor. Slowly, the little alpaca baby crawled out from the bag, resuming his chant.

"WE ARE BUT MAGGOTS, WRITHING IN THE FILTH OF OUR OWN CORRUPTION! WHILE YOU HAVE ASCENDED FROM THE DUNG OF MORTALITY, AND NOW WALK AMONG THE STARS!" Gimli Talos Junior said enthusiastically.

The alpaca-napper mumbled a "Not again…" and grabbed the alpaca by its leg. He then swiftly threw the little alpaca baby into a cage, which he locked with approximately thirty-six different locks.

Then the alpaca-napper removed the hood from his head, revealing his face. Gimli Talos Junior gasped in shock. It was his grandpa, Thranduil!

Back in the forest, Gimli and Legolas were searching the forest closely. They looked under every leaf and branch, hoping to find a trace of their son. They had almost lost all hope, when Legolas saw something shiny and colourful in the corner of his eye. It was a magical jelly bean! And behind it was another, and another, and yet another, and even more, leading in a trail.

"Look," Legolas said, "A trail!"

"That's my wee little lad's favourite food!" Gimli said, "We should follow it, and quick!"

The duo started to follow the trail. They walked and walked and walked, until their feet were soar and stars lined the night sky.

"Ugh, is that the same tree AGAIN?" Gimli said grumpily.

"I feel like we're walking in circles…" Legolas sighed, "I wonder if we'll ever find anything…"

"Maybe we should set up camp," Gimli said, "Try again tomorrow."

Legolas nodded, and the two of them put up their tent. Afterwards, Gimli gathered some firewood, and they made a small campfire. Sitting in the warmth of the fire, Gimli and Legolas roasted potatoes on sticks.

"It's so lonely without our wee little alpaca," Gimli said, his voice sounding quite emotional.

Legolas carefully wrapped one arm around Gimli and held him close. With his free hand, the elf patted the dwarf's head.

"There, there, it will be all right," Legolas said soothingly.

Gimli tried to smile, but failed, and then decided to start eating his potato. Legolas soon followed, and they were silent for a while, quietly eating, until they felt it was time for bed. The dwarf and elf curled up in their bedrolls, wished each other good night, and tried to catch some sleep.

When they woke up, it had already been late in the morning. Birds were fluttering around and singing. Gimli and Legolas quickly cleared their camp, and soon, they were ready to travel further.

Only, there was one small problem…

The jelly bean trail was gone.

"Oh no!" Gimli said fearfully, "The trail… It's gone! What are we going to now? What if we never find Gimli Talos Junior again?"

"Don't worry," Legolas said, "We're going to find him, Gimli, I promise."

While Thranduil had been very careful in making sure the little alpaca couldn't escape, he had overlooked one small issue: making sure that Gimli Talos Junior would stay quiet. The elven king was lying in his bed, as the little alpaca kept on screaming his chant.

"BUT YOU WERE ONCE MAN! AYE! AND AS MAN, YOU SAID, 'LET ME SHOW YOU THE POWER OF TALOS STORMCROWN, BORN OF THE NORTH, WHERE MY BREATH IS LONG WINTER. I BREATHE NOW, IN ROYALTY, AND RESHAPE THIS LAND WHICH IS MINE. I DO THIS FOR YOU, RED LEGIONS, FOR I LOVE YOU.'" Gimli Talos Junior continued.

"Oh, won't you shut up!" Thranduil said agitatedly, but to no avail.

Gimli Talos Junior just kept on shouting, and Thranduil turned around again, and put his hands to his ears, desperately wanting the noise to stop.

After some time, Thranduil got fed up with the alpaca baby's yelling, so he stood up and got a little piece of cloth from his satchel. Then he walked over to the cage, opened the thirty-six locks. Grabbing the alpaca under one arm, he bound Gimli Talos Junior's mouth shut, and then shoved him back into the cage. Again, he locked the many, many locks, and then he went back to bed.

"Finally… Peace and quiet," Thranduil sighed, before going to sleep again.


End file.
